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“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child's success is the positive involvement of parents.” ~ Jane D. Hull
As you look for ways to help your child succeed, you are taking a vital step in recognizing that it is not the sole responsibility of teachers and school staff to ensure your child learns properly. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (NKJV). Parents have the primary role in their child’s life to help them form their values and priorities, enter society as a contributing individual with vocation prospects, and, most importantly, continuously seek out the will of God for their lives. Whatever your background or education is, you have what it takes to lead your child on the road to success. Here are five ways that will get you started. 1. Dream together Without a goal, your child will have no aim, and the goal cannot be to simply do a good job at school. You have to help your child plan for what happens after school. The best way to do this is to dream with them. Get them excited about their potential and their future. Discuss various careers with them, and help them map out a plan to get there. Don’t be afraid to start this early on, just keep in mind that it is normal to change one’s mind throughout school. Simply change the map as necessary. What you will be giving your child is a reason and purpose for what they do every day, as well as a sense of importance in the learning they do. Encourage your child to think about the future and to understand the hard work necessary in getting there. As Christians, we have an eternal perspective about our role in the kingdom, so pray with your child to seek God’s will for his/her life. Remember that our role is to further His kingdom for His glory. Make sure that your definition of success also lines up with that of God’s, and manage your expectations for your child accordingly. 2. Read to your child https://ferstreaders.org/resources/fifty-top-literacy-statistics It cannot be stated enough that parents must read to their children. According to the U.S. Department of Education, “Children who are read to at least three times a week by a family member are almost twice as likely to score in the top 25% in reading compared to children who are read to less than three times a week.” (Link:https://nces.ed.gov/pubs2002/2002125.pdf) For this reason, PVCS utilizes reading programs such as Pizza Hut’s Bookit (https://www.bookitprogram.com/) which provides fun incentives for kids to read. You can start this program with children who are just learning to read, and by reading to them you can give them a jumpstart to their future! As your child continues to develop their reading ability, be sure to continue to read to them at higher and higher reading levels. The more vocabulary you can expose them to, the better they can develop their literary prowess. Pursue a wide variety of literary styles and genres, and be sure to include books that you both enjoy. There is nothing better than sharing the love of a book with your child! 3. Model learning habits at home Scholarly culture in the home encourages children on the path to lifelong learning. Studies show that children who come from homes with libraries of size 80 or more books, where learning is a part of the home atmosphere, perform at higher levels on standardized tests than their comparable peers with smaller home libraries (LINK: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0049089X18300607). Share with your child what you do to learn. If you aren’t learning something, you should think about starting now. Read that book you’ve been putting off, learn a new language, or start a Bible study with a group of friends. Not only will you begin to reap the benefits yourself, you will be modeling what it means to be a lifelong learner to your child. Pursue what is interesting to you so your passion will be evident as you share it with them. You will find that your dedication to learning and improving yourself is contagious! 4. Partner with your child’s school --Talk to your child’s teacher about where your child is lacking and fill in the gaps at home. --Look for informal moments especially where you can reinforce their learning, and try to use similar terms and techniques to what they are learning in class. --Find creative ways to inspire and assist them. If they struggle in science, take them to a science museum or design a science experiment at home. If you feel you are lacking in being able to instruct them, you can get a tutor. But remember that there is no harm in your child seeing you struggle with a concept. It is a demonstration that struggling to understand something is not a symptom of stupidity but the mark of a dogged learner. By showing that you aren’t afraid or ashamed to make mistakes, you could help them gain the courage they need to attack difficult concepts. --You can also build upon where your child is excelling. Ask your teacher where they are succeeding, and be sure to compliment your child on their hard work in this area. --Try to emphasize hard work over talent, because this will encourage them to keep working to build upon their skills. Talk to your child’s school about what programs they might have to continue to encourage their strengths. Look for ways to continue to build in those areas. If they show promise in reading, introduce them to literature that will challenge them. If they have high math scores, purchase math books and encourage them to self study. If they feel strong in a subject already, you can push them with potentially no resistance, and there is no limit to what they can do! Provide incentives where necessary. 5. Become their academic advocate While it is very important to be involved at your child’s school, even beyond that you must become an academic advocate for your child. Even the best teachers cannot keep up with all the individually varying needs of all the children in their class. Only you know the specific needs, strengths and weaknesses of your child. The time that you have invested in their early development, the love and devotion you have for them means you are the most qualified to be their academic champion and motivator. --Make sure you know exactly what is being taught to your child. --Be determined to understand the classroom environment and whether it is ideal for your child’s learning style. --Consistently communicate their needs to your child’s teacher. Teachers and administrators at PVCS encourage parents to be actively involved in their children’s education. By working together, teachers and parents can nurture children to reach their maximum potential while developing a moral center that will guide them into adulthood. Contact us today if you are interested in enrolling your child in a school with teachers that will respect your role as a parent while partnering with you to guide your child towards success.
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 Some parents inadvertently fall into the misguided notion that because they are endeavoring to live a Christian life and raise a Christian family that their family life will be sunshine and roses.* Not true. Christian families face the same struggles as other families, indeed perhaps they face additional temptations and trials than other families in our society.
Your commitment to raising your children in God's ways is good and right and the path to the narrow gate (Mt 7:13-14) This path is much more difficult to navigate. The beauty is that you have an ever-faithful, all-loving, all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present God sustaining you every step of the way. He doesn't ask you to be the perfect parent(s). That is impossible, because you are imperfect. He only asks that you try your absolute best to be obedient to His Word, faithful and persevering in your walk with Him. Leaning not unto your own understanding (Prov 3:5-6 ), pondering His Will in your lives (Lk 2:19) and trusting Him who will bring good out of all things (Rom 8:28). For He knows the plans He has for you, plans to bless you...(Jer. 29:11). Since the beginning God used all kinds of imperfect parents and families to bring about His plan for our Salvation. One of the most poignant was when Joseph was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers. What appeared to be complete tragedy and disaster from every angle (parents lost their son, brothers entered into evil and shame, Joseph's life was no longer his own and separated from his family--a slave and even unjustly thrown into prison for three years). It all seems too horrible to consider the existence of a loving God...until you get to the end of the story. God had allowed all that temporary pain and misery in order to save the family from starvation and death in the great seven-year famine! Granted, it was likely not His "Plan A" for Jacob's family. When Joseph's brothers gave themselves over to their jealousy, however, God ran with "Plan B." Our visions, our plans, our expectations, are so limited compared to what God has in mind for us, but if we insist that our will be done, in His Divine Love and Mercy, He will allow it and then work all things to our good. He alone can draw straight with crooked lines. So your Christian family's life isn't perfect? Congratulations, you're human!
*Imperfections in Christian families is a specious argument tossed out as a criticism by anti-Christians in the media and elsewhere. Do not be intimidated by this. Keep in mind that for those who supposedly don't believe in God/moral standards, anything goes, so they can't be criticized...again, supposedly, but that topic will have be addressed in a separate post, so you can be prepared to answer this fallacy with Truth (2 Tim 4). To live in the world with each other peacefully, we need to have and respect boundaries. Consistent, reasonable boundaries are necessary in all healthy relationships. God made that abundantly clear in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:16-17).
The presence of clearly defined, consistently held boundaries is a major key to healthy, happy children. Be sure your children know what you expect of them and why. Hold them to it. Hold yourself to it. In the ever-changing process of growing up, children find security in rock-solid boundaries they can depend upon in all situations. If they push at a boundary and it gives way, to them it's like walking on a swinging bridge. It feels unstable. It is scary. They will act out (and escalate) until they find a solid boundary. Strive to be a rock for your children. Perhaps you've been around a family member, co-worker, or boss who was unpredictable. To navigate the relationship it may have felt like you had to walk on egg shells. It can be scary and frustrating never knowing what to expect. It's no different for kids. In the same vein, one of the hardest work situations is having two bosses with different standards and expectations, so parents should try to set the same boundaries and follow through on them as a team. The experience of fear and frustration from uncertainty is the same for children when parents, teachers, babysitters, caretakers, etc. have squishy, unpredictable boundaries or very different boundaries. Confusion reigns, not peace. The result is unpleasant behavior in search of a boundary. We, as God's children, have the security of knowing that God never changes (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8, Numbers 23:19). Sin is always sin. What was sinful 5,000 years ago is still sinful today. God still feels the same way about it. We should strive to be as consistent (and merciful) as our Heavenly Father in setting boundaries and addressing infractions. Be sure the boundaries you set are age-appropriate and just restrictive enough to achieve your goal without squashing their joy. "Fathers, do not vex your children, to the end that they be not disheartened." Colossians 3:21 Finally, consider that none of us likes being told "no" all the time. We all need freedom to grow, learn, make mistakes, explore, create, and even to get messy sometimes. If you do need to say "no," try saying, "no, not now..." and then telling them when or under what conditions they may be able to have their request. And if you've said "no," then mean "no." Don't give in to whining, tears, or nagging. To do so only encourages that behavior in the future. A child persists in unpleasant behaviors because it previously has gotten them what they have wanted. Gird your loins and stand firm. :) "Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no." Matthew 5:37 Parents can protect their children only so much from the seedier sides of our modern culture. The brain doesn't have a delete button. An appreciation for modesty and decency need to be instilled in children from a young age (it can be done later, but it is harder and the damage has been done). So one of the ways the Lewis family (five boys) teaches their children to have "custody of their eyes" is a simple "game" called "Code Red."
Whenever anyone in the family sees lips touching (PDAs) or immodest clothing, etc. they call out "Code Red!" and everyone averts their eyes. Venue doesn't matter. Could be at the mall, watching TV or a movie, or on the street. Parents could even incorporate this game into TV programming or commercials that have violence. Maybe even give it a different color...Code Black! Code Plaid! This "game" trains them/us to be intentional in our visual consumption. We get to choose what we see. We develop discernment and self-control over our curiosity and keep a check on the initial spark of nearly all our desires: the visual image. Males were created by God to be highly visual, so it is extremely important to teach our boys to guard their eyes (as we must teach our girls to guard their hearts). We can't control others' behavior or what the media spews out at us, but we can choose what we consume with our eyes, what we allow to become a part of our memory. "Finally, brethren, whatsoever is true, whatsoever is honorable, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report: if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phil 4:8 |
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